• Redeemer Stillwater

Marriage-Thoughts From a Soon-to-be 8 Year Old

Updated: Feb 2, 2018


June 3, 2006. That’s the day Abbey and I made our vows to each other before God, family and friends. I remember that day so well. Someone had prayed over my hair (not lying either) that it would look nice. It did. (Side note: if you know me very well at all you know my hair is like a gospel analogy. I cannot achieve a good hairstyle by works alone. My hair is need of grace and mercy with every passing day.) I had on a nice suit and tie. I was nervous and excited. My bride-to-be was stunning. Her white dress paled in comparison to the beauty radiating from within. I remember when the door opened, and I saw my beautiful bride standing there coming to join me at the front. Pictures do not do moments like this justice. That image is forever burned into my mind, and all the emotions and thoughts surrounding it with it. I was marrying my best friend. I was marrying the most beautiful, godly woman I had ever known and ever cared to know. We made vows to each other that day having absolutely no clue what would happen next.


I remember in the first few months of our marriage that people would ask how everything was going. We often answered by telling people how much harder marriage was than we anticipated. About six months in to our marriage I remember thinking about the way we talked about marriage and wondering why it was so hard, and then I had a comparison come to mind. I began to think about our progression as humans from infants to adults. Marriage is very similar to this progression that we all go through. We were basically six months old. Our best forms of communication were crying and throwing fits. At six months, we were finally able to sit up without falling over. At nine months, we could crawl and at the one-year mark we were full on into mashed up foods and saying our first coherent words. What I basically realized in all this was that in many ways we were rushing our marriage. We were trying so hard to be what we saw couples that had been married for 30 years be. We are Christians after all; this shouldn’t be hard, right?